


By Your Bedside

by GiveMeYourGravy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Drunk Driving, Explicit Language, M/M, Sexual Content, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiveMeYourGravy/pseuds/GiveMeYourGravy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall and Zayn have been best friends for as long as they can remember. When Zayn is in a car accident and puts in a coma, there's no keeping Niall away. Even when he's told he can only go in if he's related to or in a relationship with Zayn. So, he claims that they're dating.</p><p>What'll happen when Zayn wakes up with short term memory loss? Will Niall tell Zayn the truth? And will Zayn be able to forgive him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thinking Underage

**Author's Note:**

> _Forgive me mom and dad_
> 
>  
> 
> If the music makes you sad
> 
> Nothing can prepare us for the day
> 
> That little boys grow old
> 
> And don't do as they're told
> 
> But I will find my way
> 
> I'm just tired of thinking underage
> 
> Tired of thinking underage
> 
> I'm not thinking underage anymore
> 
> -Thinking Underage by Teddy Geiger
> 
> This is a sad chapter so let's start with something cute, yeah?
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=10zb6he)  
> 

**\--Zayn's PoV--**

Tonight was the best night of my life. A few weeks ago, my best friend Niall had gotten me tickets to see my favorite indie rock band in a live performance. I still don't know how Niall managed to get these tickets for me, let alone how he got me tickets in the third row rather than me having to sit on the lawn in the very back.

Now, here I was driving home, more than a little smashed. I had Louis to blame for this. I'd invited him to come with me since it wasn't really Niall's scene. Louis and I had gotten completely drunk, we'd had a quickie in one of the bathrooms, and then he'd sent me on his way.

As I was driving, I made the conscious decision to go and stay the night at Niall's house instead of driving on to my own home. His judgmental looks weren't nearly as intimidating as my mother's. Niall was more apt to forgive me quickly and he would also have food.

I turned, realizing too late that I had just ran a red light. The last thing I remember seeing, was a pair of head lights followed by a loud crash. Damn, my head hurt. Then, everything went dark.

**\--Niall's PoV--**

I was running down the hall of a hospital. I caught blurs of white coats and overly cheery nurse's uniforms as I made my way towards my desired goal.

I finally made to the nurse's desk that I'd been sent to after my failed first attempt when I entered the hospital and I skidded to a stop. I just stood there for a moment as I struggled to catch my breath.

Finally, I opened my mouth to speak. "What room is Zayn Malik in?" I asked, trying my best not to sound panicked. Truth was, I was scared shitless.

The young nurse gave me a sympathetic look. She had curly brown hair, brown eyes, and a name tag that said 'Eleanor' pinned over her breast. "Mr. Malik is in room 312. However, he can't have any visitors besides immediate family or significant others" she told me.

That's all it took before I broke down. Before 'Eleanor's' eyes, I went from being a man to becoming a blubbering mess of tears. This was just all too much for me today.

"Oh, Niall honey, there you are!" a feminine voice wailed. I turned, still sniffling, to see Zayn's mother running towards me. She was crying just as hard if not harder than I was. She wrapped her arms around me for a hug and I hugged her back, burying my face in her neck.

Mrs. Malik pulled away. "Come on Niall, let's take you to see Zayn" she said and took my hand in hers.

She'd just started pulling me away when 'Eleanor' called us back. "Excuse me, Ma'am! He can't go in there unless he's immediate family or in a relationship with the patient!" she exclaimed.

"Then I guess it's a good thing this boy is dating my son isn't it!" Mrs. Malik yelled back, angrily. She'd never stopped moving, dragging me towards room 312.

We stopped when we reached the closed door. "Why did you lie?" I asked her.

Mrs. Malik smiled sadly. "A few reasons. You are a boy and you are his friend, so I wasn't technically lying. I know you love Zayn, Niall. Plus, you shouldn't have to sit out in the waiting room because of some dumb hospital rule. Now, do you mind if I go get an hour or two of sleep since you'll be here with him?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Of course. Take as long as you need" I told her before hugging her again.

She hugged me back and then moved away, reaching up and giving my cheek a light caress. "Zayn is so lucky to have you" she said before walking away from me.

I sighed and watched her walk away for a moment before entering room 312.

I entered the room and gasped when I saw Zayn lying there. He looked so sad and helpless on that bed with the tubes coming out of him. An IV drip and a little tube under his nose to help him breathe.

It took everything in me not to tackle Zayn, shake him, and beg him to wake up. I held it together, though. I'm not sure how. I moved slowly towards Zayn and climbed onto the bed with him. I laid in the small space between him and the edge of the bed, trying my hardest not to hurt him...not that he could tell me if I did.

He was in a coma. It sounded so harsh to me, like it was the end. No word sounded more hopeless like the word coma.

I rested my head on Zayn's shoulder and cried. I couldn't help it. I let it all out. When it came down to it, this entire thing was my fault.

I'd thought I was such hot shit when I'd gotten ahold of those Arctic Monkey tickets for Zayn. I knew how much he liked his indie rock groups and when my mate, Harry, told me he didn't want his third row seats anymore and asked if I wanted to buy them off of him, I'd jumped at the chance.

Zayn's face had just lit up when I gave them to him for his birthday. He was fucking ecstatic. I'd understood why he hadn't asked me to come with him to the concert, I'd never been into that kind of music, but it still hurt that he'd asked his meaningless fuck buddy instead of me.

What did Louis Tomlinson have that I don't? Besides a heft supply of drugs and easy access to alcohol being that he was legal no matter where he went. From the USA to Ireland, that boy could be served alcohol and Zayn loved alcohol more than anybody I knew.

Was it that I was a virgin? I knew how sexually active Zayn was and I'd more than accepted it. If it was the right person, the right person being Zayn, I would be more than willing to have sex with him. I just didn't want to have sex just to say that I had. Especially as a homosexual man.

I sighed. None of that was important right now. All that mattered was Zayn, my Zayn, waking up. I needed him to so badly.

I tried to push all of those thoughts to the side, to the back of my mind, so that I could focus on Zayn.

I cried myself to sleep that night, still lying next to him.


	2. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Something filled up my heart with nothing_
> 
> Someone told me not to cry
> 
> But now that I'm older
> 
> My heart's colder
> 
> And I can see that it's a lie
> 
> Children wake up, hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust
> 
> If the children don't grow up
> 
> Our bodies get bigger, but our heart's get torn up
> 
> We're just a million little Gods causing rain storms
> 
> Turning every good thing into rust
> 
> -Wake Up by Arcade Fire

**Zayn's Pov--**

My eyelids felt heavy and it took me what felt like years to finally get them open. "Oh, you're awake" I heard a voice say. I turned my head, probably too quickly, and it caused me to wince.

"Glad to see you finally seem to have had enough beauty sleep to join the rest of us" said a blonde haired girl with blue eyes, wearing scrubs. She was young, not much older than me if she was at all.

"How did I get here? How long have I been here?" I asked her. I had thousands of questions, but I didn't really know where to start. So, I figured that was the safest spot to try. And I didn't need to ask where I was. Her clothes, the plain walls, and the sterile smell were a dead giveaway.  
The girl sat at the foot of my bed. "Well, you like to get straight to the point, don't you?" she asked with a soft smile.

I didn't say anything to the girl, just waited for her to answer my question.

"You've been here for a little over a month, Mr. Malik. You were in a car accident after drinking too much. You're incredibly lucky that no one else was hurt. We were starting to worry that you wouldn't even wake up. You took a hard hit to the head off of that steering wheel of yours" she told me.

I'd hit my head? I didn't remember this, but I also didn't remember a lot of things. I reached my hand up and lightly pressed it to my bandaged head. I winced again at the stinging pain I suddenly felt.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you" the girl told me a moment too late. She looked worried for me.

I lowered my hand again and laid my head back on my pillow again. "Is my mom here?" I asked her next. I kept my eyes on the ceiling now

"She's not here at the moment, no. Your boyfriend said that she was going to go home and get some more sleep. She's been coming in shifts, but he only leaves long enough to shower or eat. He's even been sleeping here."

I sat up and looked at her, again too fast. The look of shock on my face, evident. "I have a boyfriend?!" I asked her. I didn't remember a boyfriend. How long had I had a boyfriend? And he'd spent every night here with me? I felt like an asshole.

"You don't remember him?" she asked me. I just shook my head at her. "Do you remember anything?"

I sighed. "My name is Zayn. I'm nineteen. I live with my mom and dad, Yaser and Patricia. I have and older sister named Doniya who doesn't live with us anymore. I have two younger sister named Waliyha and Safaa.

"So, you don't remember any friends or your boyfriend?" she asked me next.

I shook my head no. "I know I've always been a loner. I don't have a lot of friends. I think I have some, but I don't remember them"I told her honestly.

"Well, that means you and your boyfriend get to start all over again. You get to get to know each other all over again and fall in love just like it's the first time. I think it's a little romantic even."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. That did sound a bit nice. "What's your name anyway?" I asked her.

She laughed. "About time you do the respectable thing and ask my name" she teased me. "It's Perrie Edwards."

"Well, that's a mouthful!" I laughed.

I heard the door open and I heard someone gasp. I turned my head, slowly this time, and saw a boy my age standing in the doorway. He had dyed blonde hair and blue eyes and the palest of skin. He was looking at me in pure shock.

"Zayn?" he asked me in a thick accent that I recognized as being from Ireland. I'd remembered traveling there with my family for a vacation when I was younger.

I blinked at him. He knew me. That meant I should know him. I knew that I should know him, but my mind was completely blank. I looked at Perrie, knowing I looked like a scared animal at this point.

Perrie looked at the blonde boy. "Mr. Horan, we still have to run some tests now that he's awake, but I believe Zayn has amnesia. He only remembers his family members based on our conversation so far."

I could see the boy deflate in front of me and for some odd reason I wanted to hug him.

Perrie stood and moved to him, wrapping him in her arms. It'll be alright, Niall. Zayn will be just fine." I saw him hug her back

I cleared my throat after a moment or two. "Sorry if this sounds rude, but could you tell me who you are now?"I asked him.

Perrie released the blonde boy and turned to face me. "Zayn Malik, this is Niall Horan, your boyfriend."

Oh...

We made eye contact and color rose to his cheeks and lowered his head to the floor. He ran his left hand through his blonde locks. Perrie had embarrassed him. That was strangely cute to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been on due to the stroke my grandmother had. I've been taking care of her. Sorry for the delay and thanks for your patience! And again, I'm so sorry!
> 
> Thank you for all your love and support and thank you for sticking with me.!
> 
> xxKenzie


	3. Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _My heart is yours_
> 
> It's you that I hold on to
> 
> That's what I do
> 
> And I know I was wrong
> 
> But I won't let you down
> 
> -Sparks by Coldplay

\--Niall’s POV—  
“This is Niall Horan, your boyfriend” the tall nurse had told Zayn. I knew I was blushing, I couldn’t help it really. He wasn’t supposed to know that his mother and I had lied so that I could stay with him in the hospital. He knew I was gay but I wasn’t sure this was a good time for him to know how I felt about him.

I met his eyes with my own and lowered my head as my cheeks darkened to an even more embarrassing shade of red. This was getting ridiculous now. It was obvious Zayn didn’t remember me yet, but when he did, I didn’t want him to know how I felt about him. His rejection would kill me and him turning me down would be inevitable.

I loved Zayn, flaws and all. However, when it came to flaws, he tended to have a lot of them. He had a tendency to hook up with people for what they could give them rather than how great they could be together as a couple or for their looks rather than whether or not they could make him laugh until he cried.

He’d been hooking up with a local drug dealer for months now. Louis Tomlinson was his name, but everyone called him _Tommo_. Part of me could see the hold he had on Zayn, I guess. Louis Tomlinson was attractive, even I could admit that. He had this dark brown hair with a texture that I could only describe as feathered. It was really the only interesting thing about him. . . besides his eyes. His eyes were like two bright blue orbs that could suck you in and see your soul. He was the one who had gotten Zayn into drugs in the first place. Cocaine was even something we’d heard of until the two of them started hanging out.

Zayn had always been better at social gatherings than I had, but I never would have let him go to a party without me if you’d told me beforehand that it would going to lead to him having sex with a sexy drug dealer in order to refresh his supply. It pissed me off actually.

Now Zayn was lying in a hospital bed, staring at me with those big brown eyes filled with questions I wasn’t sure if I could answer. And all I could think about was how if Tommo really cared about Zayn, he’d be here too. He’d be the one that this nurse was introducing to Zayn as his boyfriend. Not that Louis would ever commit to one single person. No. Sleeping with the entire population of England was too much fun for him to do something as ridiculous as that.

I moved to the bed and sat on the edge of it. I should tell him. Zayn would be pissed when he found out that we weren’t really together and that he was in a semi relationship with another male. But Perrie had said he didn’t remember anything as of yet. Was it really so selfish to want to be with him and to be his for just a little while longer?

“You really don’t remember me?” I asked him, finally forcing myself to look into those two wonderfully dark orbs of his.

A smirk played at Zayn’s lips as she shook his head lightly. “How long have we been dating?” he asked me in that deep voice of his. He sounded as if he’d just woken up. Which, I guess wasn’t exactly untrue.

I smiled and softly and shrugged at his words. “We’ve been friends longer than anything else, best friends actually. We’ve been mates since year one. The dating just happened recently. I finally caved and admitted my feelings for you” I told him shyly. There, that wasn’t really a lie. The dating had happened recently, he just hadn’t consented to it, we had been mates for forever, and I had admitted my feelings for him. He just happened to be in a coma when I did so.

Zayn nodded at my words. That all apparently added up to him. I could see him struggling to remember me as he bit his bottom lip and his brow crinkled. I couldn’t help but reach out and give his hand a gentle squeeze.

He looked up at me again and the fear and confusion on his face was heart wrenching. His eyes searched my own again, looking for those answers I was too frightened to give him. I wanted to keep this. I wanted to be the selfish one for once.

“ I really don’t remember you, Niall. I’m so sorry” he apologized to me. “I barely remember my own Mum” he added as if to make me feel better.

I pulled him into my arms, holding him close to me. “Why don’t we just start all over again then?” I asked him when I started to move away, finally meeting his brown eyes with my blue ones.

Zayn smiled softly. “I’d like to start over again, Niall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaacckckkkkkkkk!!!!!!
> 
> You guys=
> 
> Let's please not even talk about where I went and why I was gone. All I'm going to do is ask you for your patience and your continued love and support. Because who wants to hear my excuses? Not me. They involve work, sleep, and the beginning and end of a relationship. Yep. See, wasn't that interesting? Anyway, I'm here now. And hopefully won't be going anywhere.
> 
> If you'd like to get more of a response from me when asking me when I'll be updating feel free to either email me at mackenziesummers93@yahoo.com or tweet me at @KenzieAlexGood
> 
> This story is at 19 Comments, 18 Kudos, 2 Bookmarks, and 510 Reads. Thank you soo much! I love you all.
> 
> Tell me: Where would you like this story to go?
> 
> xxKenzie


	4. Fall For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This is not what I intended_
> 
>  
> 
> I always swore to you, I'd never fall apart
> 
> You always thought that I was stronger
> 
> I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start
> 
> Oh, but hold your breath
> 
> Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
> 
> Over again, don't make me change my mind
> 
> I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true
> 
> Because a **boy** like you's impossible to find
> 
> You're impossible to find
> 
>  
> 
> **-Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade**
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=qrx6cg)  
> 

**\--Zayn's PoV--**

>  
“I’d like to start over again, Niall” I told him with a smile. He seemed like an altogether nice lad and he’d been here for me through all of this according to Perrie.

I took in his looks again. He had blonde hair that I could tell was dyed, but I didn’t mind. Blonde looked good on him, so he was definitely pulling it off. His eyes were an unbelievable shade of blue. I twas pretty easy to see how I’d fallen for him.

I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t remember him. And it bothered me that I could remember I was gay, but couldn’t recall the fact that I was in a committed relationship with someone so good looking.

“How long have we been together?” I asked him suddenly. I needed him to fill in those blanks in my mind.

He froze for a moment, probably thinking about how to word his response. “Honestly? We haven’t been together for very long, but we’ve been best mates since diapers and I’ve been in love with you since primary school” he admitted to me.

“I’d always wanted to tell you, but I was scared that you would reject me. Plus, you never really wanted to be in an actual relationship. So, I just bit my tongue until the time was right” he added.

I was shocked. What kind of person had I used to be? What kind of man wouldn’t want to commit to Niall on sight? I’d only known him for an hour and I was already beginning to like him, so what had been wrong with me? He had such a likable personality and he was incredibly easy on the eyes. I was probably quite lucky.

So, the fact that there was a time where he was afraid of telling me how he felt towards me made me feel like a complete and total prick. No one should have to be afraid of admitting their emotions.

I sighed. “I’m sorry to keep asking you questions, but I just want to understand everything since I can’t remember. Why were you so sure I’d say no? What was it about me?” I asked him.

Niall licked his lips nervously. “Up until your car accident, you’ve been really into drugs and alcohol. Your drugs of choice were marijuana and heroin. Sometimes, if you were short on cash, you’d fuck or blow your drug dealer for them. It killed me watching you choose that lifestyle over me. So, I never asked you because you were screwing someone else and you cared about what you were getting from that rather than about how I felt. You haven’t stopped, either. You got in that car accident because you were driving drunk and they noticed drugs in your system as well. There was enough in your system that if you hadn’t gotten in the car accident, you probably would have overdosed.”

I wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. Was this who I was as a person? I was a drug addict that had sex with my drug dealer so I could avoid paying for my habit? Now I completely understood why Niall and I hadn’t been together long and why he felt the way he did. I was a horrible person.

He must have seen the way my face deflated at his words. Niall moved next to me on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, Zayn. This is a fresh start. You’ve already been through the worst of it with your coma and you definitely detoxed. Just promise me you won’t go back to drugs and alcohol. Please” he begged me.

I looked him in the eyes. “I promise, Niall. I’m not going to go back to drugs. I’m not going to alcohol either. I just want to give us a fair chance” I responded.

Niall relaxed and pulled me into a hug. “Thank you, Zayn” he said, breathing a sigh of relief.

I heard the door open and looked up to see my mother entering the room. Now, how could I remember her, but not my own boyfriend? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. My whole face lit up when I saw her, however. “Hi, Mum. It’s okay, the nurse already told me about Niall being my boyfriend” I told her.

She smiled softly. “That’s great, sweetie. Would you mind if I stole him for a moment and talked to him out in the hallway.”

I thought about it, but shrugged. “Sure, Mum. Don’t keep him too long He’s filling me in on things.”

Niall gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright. I’ll be right back” he said and moved to follow my mother out into the hospital hallway.

**\--Niall’s PoV--**

I looked at Zayn over my shoulder as I exited the room. When I looked forward, all I could see was his mother’s back.

She turned to face me rapidly. “You told him you were actually a couple?!” she snapped at me, trying to keep her voice down, however. She didn’t want the staff to hear and boot me out.

I shook my head furiously. “I swear I didn’t. His nurse introduced me as his boyfriend and I was too scared to tell him the truth. And there’s a part of me that doesn’t even want to tell him. This may be my only chance with him and our shot to get him to start over. He doesn’t remember the drugs or the alcohol. He doesn’t remember Louis. He looked shocked and disgusted when I told him about the things he has done to get drugs. He doesn’t want to be that guy anymore. And I want to be by his side as he starts over.”

Zayn’s mother gave me a sympathetic look. “I won’t say anything to him, Niall. You know I love you like you’re one of my own boys. You’re going to have to tell him eventually, though. The last thing I want is him to go back to using. Sometimes, I believe you know him better than I do. You’re the only one he ever really talked to anymore. I just don’t want you to lose him.”

“I know” I mumbled as I looked in through the window of Zayn’s hospital room door. He was flipping through the channels absentmindedly. This boy was already going to be the death of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=24y5keq)   
> 
> 
> Thank you so much for continuing to support me in my writing endeavor. I love you all.
> 
> Please comment and bookmark this story as well as check out my other works. I appreciate all of you and love all of you.
> 
> xxKenzie

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. Another fanfic, Mackenzie? Yes, I'm sorry! Please don't eat me! I just needed to get the beginning of this brain baby out so that I can give 110% towards my other fics. I love you guys so much.
> 
> 5 Reviews for an Update?
> 
> Check out my other ongoing stories as well! The Punk That Got Away, Walk of Shame, Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop, When Snapback Met Beanie, Locked Out of Heaven, and Follow You Into the Dark.
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> xxKenzie


End file.
